Last night, only 6 hours ago, just before I retired for bed, I asked God for a very specific thing. And it was something that had always previously remained "entirely unspoken", something which I have always just assumed, and so never thought of even asking. But last night, I was specifically drawn, from the wellspring of need, to explicitly and purposefully now "ask", for the occasion and the need was suddenly particularly urgent and pressing. It had been gradually building for quite some time. But only last night, for the first time, did it finally take on a very clearly-named and sudden identity.

So for the very first time in my life, I spoke 6 specific words, words that I have never together uttered before, words that have never formed on my lips at any other time let alone found a voice. Which, in itself, being an entirely brand-new first, is remarkably astonishing. I looked up towards the heavens, and with imploring in my eyes and in my voice, and yearning in my heart, I asked our Heavenly Father for this one specific thing. My ask was simply this. “Please adopt me as Your son”.

It was an entirely authentic ask. And it immediately felt like it was an intensely primordial ask, one that had very ancient roots. One that came from the very foundations of time. I still recall thinking how it was possible that I had never thought to ask it before. It was something that, with absolutely certainty, became the face of something I knew I wanted more than anything else in all of life. It was like one of those overwhelmingly simple, yet particularly lucid defining moments. where all else left the room, and nothing else entered that space time continuum, or even mattered. It felt like the crucible of life had been steadily building towards this moment for all of time, and had suddenly found it had a name. It was such an obvious thing to do and ask. And I couldn’t understand why I had never asked for it ever before.

Immediately thereafter, having just embraced the homecoming gravity and sheer enormity of what I had just asked the Father of all creation and life, I then also asked Him to teach me how to, at will, be able to climb up into the wonderful habitation of "His lap", a sanctuary and habitation that, at any stage, any earthly child should have the unspoken and unquestionable privilege and freedom to enter upon with his earthly father. And then, lastly, the final thing I asked Him for as well, was to explicitly show me how to simply “just sit at His feet”, just like Mary had. For of this last thing, this one thing, when the watching world of Martha took exception, and vocally railed against Mary for doing so, Jesus replied and said that of this one thing, that Mary had chosen "the right thing", and that it WOULD NOT be taken from her. And that was to “sit at His feet”.

And now, not more than 6 hours later, as I began to read a particular article I was directly drawn to, which incidentally I have still not finished reading yet, because the sheer weight and enormity of this moment has brought my reading to an abrupt standstill upon this one particular paragraph, the very next words to enter my mind, and to pass before my eyes, as if seamlessly following on, without interruption, from the unspoken words that I had just spoken for the first time in prayer, I now first-hand understood, in black and white, that not only had God specifically "heard" my prayer, which I have also always believed by faith, but now had the unquestionable and immediate evidence thereof, but also of just how "immediately" He also hears our prayers, and how "quickly" He answers them too. On a blog site I used to frequent very often, and one which for some strange reason I have not visited for quite a while, which again reveals to me the hand of God in it all, upon seconds of opening my eyes, I am drawn to a particular article out of any one of a whole number of options, and barely a few paragraphs into the article, literally midstream, it says these incredible and specifically vivid words, only three paragraphs into the body of the article (which is always a very special number). And it said:

"In the context of this passage, Paul is describing "OUR LIFE IN THE SPIRIT" while we live on this groaning, broken planet, "LONGING FOR FULL ADOPTION AS SONS.""

From just asking to be fully adopted as His son, to closing my eyes, and to the very first words I then open my eyes too, continuing as if having never been interrupted by sleep, I stop in the magnitude of the awe of His immense thoughtfulness and primordial connection with each of His own. And then I suddenly saw how this pressing need to be wholly connected to the Father, in the most legitimate way possible, which is as “a son”, being flesh of His flesh and bones of His bones, I was suddenly reminded of reaching out to God a few weeks ago in absolutely desperation and complete surrender to Him, where I stated my case that by virtue of the two greatest commandments of all, that God Himself had specifically “hard wired” us all for connection, first with Him, and then with our neighbour, that as such, because the deep visceral need we all feel to both connect and belong, to be part of family, is deliberately by His own doing, blueprinted in His design for all of humanity, and that since this deep and unquenchable need I felt, which was that I longed to be part of a community, I asked Him that if this feeling and urgency was to never go away, and was entirely His doing, I asked Him to then satisfy that pressing urgency through Him, through friendship and fellowship and community and connection with the three best friends any person could ever hope to have. With the Father, with the Son. and with the Holy Spirit. With the very author and only possible finisher of that need.

Our LORD is such a mindful God, that He knows even when a sparrow falls from the sky. Because every living thing that yet breathes, be it man, beast or fowl, be it fauna or flora, only lives because of the God particle He has placed from Himself within all of us. So because of His own part of Himself in all living things, which is not only alive, but it is what gives everything else its life, because it is His life that stands up and sustains everything that lives, from the trees to ant, He is wholly connected to each and everyone by an invisible lifeline, an unseen umbilical, He will, and will always be, fully aware of every thing that lives and breathes, and that sighs the sighs that no one else hears. Like the sigh of a sparrow that falls from the sky. Or the sigh of a child desperately wanting to be fully adopted by his Father as a son.

In the operation of the law of “seedtime and harvest”, which is a law that will remain for as long as the earth remains, words are not just words. They are, first and foremost, “spirit”. And as spirit, they are, therefore, also “life”. And in the operation of spirit as life, words are thus “seeds”. And in their most noble of purposes, words are the “seeds of the procreation of life”. That once released, they “beget or generate life”. From what begins as “spirit”, being that which is yet UNSEEN, in the operation of seedtime and harvest, the harvest that ultimately becomes “the life” of that which is then SEEN, is that by those very words of prayer birthed by His indwelling Spirit, being the very voice of the God particle in us all, that as those words are then released from the lips of man upon the wings of prayer, that as they then land upon the ears of God, the same God who hears the sighs that no one else hears, that He brings those very same prayers to life! "For from Him, through Him, and for Him are all things. To Him be the glory forever. Amen! "(Romans 11:36). He is the God who "gives life to the dead, and calls into existence that which doesn’t exist." (Romans 4:17). So that the sigh which is unheard may then be loudly heard. So that that which was unseen (spirit) now becomes seen (life).

Now to the King eternal, immortal, invisible, the only God, be honour and glory for ever and ever. Amen. (1 Timothy 1:17). 

#LoveIsAsLoveDoes